Cooking With Jeff Goldblum and Special Guest

(Hums)
(snaps)  To come home to   You'd be so  - You'd be so nice to come home to. Ahhh, my name is Jeff Goldblum and welcome I say to you, Ah to another segment of what we're calling Cooking with Jeff. That's what we called it last time. You may put the, uh, logo, the uh, here or here at this point.

We did one before, I don't
know if you caught it. I was me and the great
Jonathan Gold, anyway, we had so much fun, here we are again. This is my home. It's my nice colonial
style, I believe, home.

Mmm, mmm, mmm. I didn't even know outside
here I had this grove. This orange grove. Well we're talking about food once again, we're going to cook once again.

I have a secret guest once again, and we're gonna come back here
and make something delicious. (Laughs) (upbeat music) We're shopping for some items for a recipe given to me by today's mystery guest. I've made a shopping list on my new app. You hit Ralph's right there, here you can't see this.

Mike and Scotty and William,
always have three cameras whenever I go shopping
I always film myself. I hit this more and then shopping list and here we are, that's the shopping list. And the first item is
avocado, come with me as I chase after a large avocado. Hello Tony.

- Tony, I'm the produce
manager here at Ralph's. - You're the produce manager that's your-- yeah, yeah, yeah, produce
is potatoes I guess. - We have vegetable, fruit, and. - I'm interested in the king
of all fruits or vegetables this is actually a vegetable isn't it? - It's a fruit.

- It's a what? - Fruit, avocado. - [Jeff] Fruit.
- Yeah. - I thought this is a vegetable. Avocado is a fruit.

- It's a fruit. - Hey, play this game with me. If I was a fruit or a
vegetable, what would I be? - I think you would be
a fruit, you're sweet. - Which fruit would I be? - Let's say a dragonfruit.

- I can't believe you said that. I'd be a dragonfruit. What do you think my Chinese
astrological sign is? I was born in 1952. - Probably lion? - Dragon.

Do I believe in astrology, true or false? True I believe in it, false
I don't believe in it. - False. - That's absolutely correct. I think it's hooey, it's baloney, and there's another section for baloney.

Is baloney a fruit or a vegetable? Neither, it's a trick question. So anyway, this fruit here is what I want. - Well let me tell you how
to pick out an avocado. You see we have different
color, in different spaces.

- Oh yes, yes. - So you just put them
on the palm of your hand. - Yes sir. - And then squeeze it
gently and then if you feel a little soft, that means ready to use.

- Do you have a high thread count there in your epidermis? - Pretty much. - Yeah, oh yes. You're like a dental
technician or something. - Let's say you want
this avocado in two days, you grab a small paper
bag, put the avocado in it.

One banana, one apple and
two days it'll go like that. - I never would have thought that. How's that feel to you,
is that a good one? - This feels good, it's ready to go. - That's a winner right there.

- Anything else I can help you today? - I'm gonna give you a nice squeeze. You are ripe in two days I think. (Jazzy music) Look who it is. Look who it is.

- Hello there. - How are you my friend?
- Doing great. - That's a new hat I see. - It is.

- In any case, we have
real business together, I need a piece of cheese, manchego cheese. Tell me about that manchego cheese. - It comes out of Spain, its
actually a protected recipe, meaning it can only be made
in certain part of Spain from certain breeds of sheep. - Certain breeds of sheep? - It's actually mentioned in Don Quixote, that old of a recipe.

- Sing with me.  To dream, the impossible dream   To fight the unbeatable foe  - Well that's it, as soon as I go home I'm calling my agent and saying I want to do a production of Don Quixote. I want to play the mad Quixote, you will be my Sancho Panza. But if you refuse, or you
are otherwise too busy and unavailable you know who I would cast? - Go ahead.

- No you go. - Well I'd say Jack Black but he's a little
shorter than me actually. - Did you see School of Rock?
- I did. - Sing that song with me, ready?  You're not hard core   Unless you live hard core   But the legend of the rent   Was way hardcore  - Very good, I like
your lip syncing to me.

Manchego, yes, should we choose it? And I'll get out of your hair? - Yes, right behind you here. - It's behind me? Can I smell it? - Sure. - Let me check my Kroger
app to see, oh I need bread. I'm gonna go to the bread section.

Bye Chris.
- Thank you. (Smooth music) - I love these baguettes,
I think anything, anything in this shape is
called a baguette, I think. This is actually what we're
looking for, isn't it? You know what I need? Lime juice which I
remember is on this list. Lime juice and so first
of all, its on sale, 'cause it's in yellow
and this app'll tell you where it is, it's on aisle five.

Well how convenient. (Laughs) (jazzy music)  Aint no stopping me now   I'm on the move  (jazzy music) - Here I am again, Jeff
Goldblum, now in my kitchen. Our special mystery guest, - [Guest] Mmhmm. - Is right here.

Now, you don't know who it
is, but you have an idea. Is it A, Julianne Moore? Is it B, Sissy Spacek? Is it C, Tilda Swinton? Is it D, Jessica Chastain? Is it E, Bryce Dallas Howard? Is it F, Vera Farmiga? - [Guest] Ah yeah. - That's incorrect, turn
around, you'll now see, it is Bryce Dallas. (Laughs) - It's Jessica Chastain.

- Thank you so much for, - Thank you. - I'm so thrilled. - It's the best, what we're gonna do today 'cause I don't know how to cook. - Nor do I, as you know.

- But the thing that's
tricky is that I have, I've got two kids. - I have two kids too. - And you've got two kids as well and you find that like, you're the person that is gonna feed them, and
so, kind of can't be a parent and get away with not cooking. This is a wood board and you just put a bunch of cut up food on here.

- Oooo. - And by putting it on a wood board, it looks really appetizing. - I love that, that's poetical. - Let's make the food, yeah? - Let's make some food.

Hey your middle name is Dallas. - Yes, - You're named after obviously a popular nighttime soap opera, if I, if my middle name were, after one of those
shows, what would it be? - Oh my gosh I can't even think, Melrose Place? That's the only nighttime soap opera, - Jeff "Melrose Place" Goldblum. - That works. - If my name had been
Jeff "Melrose" Goldblum I would have gotten further than I am now.

(Laughs) Oh I love to cut a pepper, you know why? I like everything going
on in there, don't you? - Yeah it's pretty beautiful. - I mean this is how you
see the world differently when you have kids. It's as if seeing it for the first time 'cause they are seeing
it for the first time and you go look, look at that and you go and you touch it and you,
you know because it is absolutely miraculous. - I bet you are so fun with your kids discovering all of this with them.

Look at this, just happenstancially, if that's a word, we were left with two
little tear drop seeds, just like the moles under
Geraldine Chaplin's eye. - Oh my gosh. (Jazzy music) - This is like a horn of plenty, it's like a cornucopia,
it's like a smorgasbord. It is smorgasbord or schmor-gasbord? - Is it schmor-gish-board? - Shhh, - Smorgis, or schmorgas? - When you toast marshmallow and chocolate we know that's a s'more.

Is that correct? - That would be a s'more. - That would be a
- s'more. - Okay.
- Okay. - Then maybe it is smorgas..

(Laughs) - Okay. - Is an avocado a fruit or a vegetable, what do you say? - I would guess fruit but then maybe it's like neither, maybe it's like a nut or something. (Laughs) - Yes, it's the king of legumes. - Is it? - It's a nut, no it's not.

No I was told this today, it's a fruit. - It is a fruit. - I would have said vegetable. 'Cause I think a fruit says sweet.

- Yeah but you know. - Are you listening, were
you just listening to the, (laughs) I caught you, I caught you. (Laughs) You're thinking of seashells. Yes, you, I can hear the ocean.

- This is always like the trickiest thing in the world right? - [Jeff] Let me handle that. - Can you go like that, do that, you do it, you do it. - [Jeff] Well I wouldn't,
- [Bryce] You do it. - [Jeff] I'm not going to
smash through that pit.

- That's what you do? What are you doing? - Well I don't know what do you, what are we aiming at? - Is this a way to do it? - Why is that a criteria? Maybe nobody's ever done it before. We march to the beat of our own avocado. (Laughs) Look I've done it. - So then how do you get that into here? - Ohhhh, (laughs) Ohhhh I see, you've taught me a great lesson today.

(Laughs) And then you say, what movie is this from, you have much to learn Mambo King? - I don't know. - Mambo King. (Laughs) Mambo King. (Upbeat music) It's no good.

- [Bryce] I don't want to risk that. - [Jeff] No, no, I won't let you. - So it's a little bit, Jeff. - Not on my watch.
- Listen Jeff.

- What, what? - I have so much respect for you. - But this is too thin, we say, that was just a practice. I was just practicing. (Laughs) I like to crack it right on the, - Should we put some olive
oil on there or anything or? - I say noooo.

Ah, okay. So now we have to do something like this this is not gonna be so great. - Well maybe, maybe, could I suggest-- - Why don't we cut to the, uh, - Let's cut through the, for the, - Stunt egg, Kelsey Rose. - Pretty egg.

- This is, - Don't drop it, don't drop it. - Kelsey Rose, you don't frighten me again. - I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Jeff. - Imagine that we cooked
it just like that.

- Jeff, we made avocado toast. - I can't believe. - With fried eggs, - Yes. - And then we've got our wood board.

- Done by you, a total professional. - No, which we did together. - And I helped a little bit. I'll let you go first.
- Okay, here we go.

- Here we go, join us out on the, fix that rug dammit, who left that rug, oh, oh my god, (laughs) For the sake of a comedy
bit look what I've done. I'm so sorry Bryce. This is horrible. This is horrible.

(Laughs) Look it, she's laughing, thank goodness, you can have a sense of humor about it. Well, it's ruined now, we're not gonna eat it, I'm gonna get some paper
towels, just a second, keep it right there. That's the worst thing
that's ever happened. Well we'll split the
one, the last, the last, - [Bryce] We can split the one.

- My god. (Soft music) - There we go.
- Look movie magic has allowed us to, uh, you know. - Oh look at this two eggs, fancy that. - Yeah.
- It's like it never even happened.

- Well, bon appetit. I can't believe it, look at all this. I hardly know what to start with first. So let's take a bite together shall we? - Yes, yes.

- Shall we start with a,
oh your piece of cheese. Well, - Cheers. - Here's to you, Cheers. Ahhhh (laughing) (soft music).