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That's not how you pronounce it. They are two different things, two different Things. Yeah, French people must be pissed about that They spent hundreds of years Perfecting this perfect little cookie Thing that takes a really long time to Make and people confuse them with this Coconut piece of sh*t! There's a video even that Tells you the wrong thing on YouTube. Imagine that.
"In English Macaron or Macaroon". People are not happy about that Video. By the way did you know the macarons had feet?! Yeah me neither. I did a lot of prior Research because there's a lot of Information on how to do this right.
So, Let's get started, shall we? Alright here we go, out into the public lands Fingers crossed that they have what we need Yes here it is, the Silpat, mofos. Now I need some of this and one of these. Yes I think this is going to be big enough, that's what she said. DID IT.
Now I'm on my way to go get some eggs. EGGSciting, isn't it? Hm, this seems easier. I'm gonna go that route Nice rainy day for making MACARONS. Now Let's get our French f*ckin' cooking on.
Alright here we are back in the safety of our home Apparently I'm supposed to let these sit out for several hours to age them which is A little weird to me I don't know if I like it. What do you think, Kitty? Do you call them Macarons Or Macaroons? Oh you don't care? Fine... Four hours later. *Sighs* it's all dark now and here they sit.
I don't know about this, you guys. I don't know what I do Know is that we have to measure out all Of our stuff with a scale. Otherwise, Failure! Ok so measure your sh*t out. As you can see, That's what I'm doing here and doing a Really good job.
I'm really good at measuring Things on a scale. Okay now I have to beat the eggs until stiff peaks form, ya, stiff peaks. Um yeah I'm actually not really sure I don't know what I'm doing. I don't think I'm doing it right There's peak like forms but there's some watery sh*t at the bottom I don't think that's how it supposed to do that.
I don't beat eggs like this very often, in fact I'm pretty sure I've never done this before so I'm not really sure this is right. Alright now I'm supposed to fold in the other stuff,um, like this and I'm not very good at folding stuff apparently. Last time I did this in the video, a bunch of people were like "you suck at that, that is not how you fold something". I'm really good at folding clothes by the way, just not good at folding sh*t into f*ckin beaten eggs, SORRY.
So at about this point is where I. Realized that I was supposed to add in the food coloring that I wanted to. So I'm just gonna add it now. That can't hurt, right? These are in honor of Martha Stewart f*ckin Breakfast at Tiffany's, the Carolina Panthers.
However you want to fuck*n look at it We're making these teal because that's what I want to do Ok? TEAL with it! Listen I know that this first batch probably isn't gonna go right. So don't be a BATCH about it! Just let me do my thing, I'm doing the best that I. Can, okay? Now this sh*t has to stay here for f*ckin 30 minutes. Sure it does look a little like runny and stuff and when I put it in the piping bag, it just kind of comes out the tip all watery and I don't think that supposed to happen.
I'm thinking that this isn't the way that it's supposed to look and they're only supposed to be about two inches big, uhh, and these kind of spread out a lot more than I thought they were going to Yes, alright, the first batch didn't go as smoothly as I would like I think we may get one good Macaron from these two right here. The other ones very abstract, it's like interpretive dance. Y'know what I mean? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention these are supposed to sit here for a f*ckin hour before I put them in the oven What the f*ck, f*ckin another hour, I'm so tired already though Whoa, whoa, what do you think you're doing? Nooo Think the moment of truth is upon us These can't be sticky to the touch (laughs) Oh yeah, does this set kind of remind you of anything? Good quality family friendly fun. Alright, time to go into the oven Yes! Alright so I'm thinking I did a couple things wrong, like instead of using my stand mixer, I.
Should've used the beater and just beat it Oh she even has a picture of those things God dammit! This is what happens when you don't pay attention to all the things Yas, okay. Macaron troubleshooting- these are all her f*ckin notes? R: You can't give up. C: There's so many things. Rob's right I can't give up! Even though he gave up making a stupid f*ckin invisible christmas tree last week.
What was that all about, You just get one and done? What the f*ck! Anyway even though I know these look terrible, I know I can do better okay? And everything I've read about making these f*ckn things, no one does it right the first time. So there's that, and after reading all the sh*t that I probably did wrong I've come to several realizations. One: my almond flour, that sh*t is probably a little too moist. That one's for you Bonita Applebaum, moist, moist.
But what I gotta do is pop it on a pan and pop that sh*t in the oven for a little bit on the low heat. Don't go too crazy, just trying to dry it out a little bit. Don't want it to be too MOIST! Also things I didn't do last time was sift all this sh*t. I read on the blog that I'm following nothing about sifting the stuff and I just put everything in the food processor like I was told, but I'm thinking that everything needs to be sifted like five times.
So I sifted all the sugar before I weighed it which after the fact I realized that is just what you're supposed to do and I'm an idiot. Uhmm, I also sifted almond flour before I weighed it and then I put them all in the food processor together and then sifted all that sh*t again. Siftin' f*ckin' party up in here I also put the food coloring in, at the right time this time. So I think that's gonna help our chances a little bit and you know what, this batter seems a lot better.
It still has some issues though. God this is gross! Looks like f*cking crap. They by no means look like something I would like to eat. Quite the opposite actually, quite the opposite.
These f*ckin things like that, that's a problem I'm also realizing here is that I just noticed that it says pasteurized which is probably affecting my ability to make these things f*ckin do the right thing. God dammit! Why US government?? Why? Why do you have to pasteurize everything?-_- Alrighty, it's okay, it's okay. I'm gonna go get some f*ckin normal eggs, we're gonna try this again. One more time, one more time! That's it, that's all I have in me.
One more time. It's also not f*ckin raining today, so I think that's going to help our chances. Yep clear f*cking skies, no humidity in the air today. I'm actually feeling pretty parched, the sun is out.
Yay! On my way to get more f*ckin eggs EGGScellent, isn't it? Yep still hate myself, maybe even just a little bit more now. This is a terrible idea Ok here we are back at the house. Let's try this one more time! Got my eggs here, going to crack them open like I should have last time. Instead of trying to take the easy way out and failure! Yeah so I'm separating the f*ckin egg whites from the yolks, this isn't a yolk people! Now I have to let them sit here for f*ckin another four hours.
This is, this is bulls*it! But it's all for the good fight. You know what I'm saying? Alright this is the moment of truth, the the egg beating. Yes the eggs were definitely our problem. That is for goddamn sure.
This is not at all how the egg whites perform, look at these peaks! Yes! Peak performance right here. Yeah these are definitely a lot better than the last ones. Not all runny and sh*t Unfortunately I forgot to add the food coloring Other than that we're - we're doing pretty good, doing pretty good. Now we wait..........
We did it! We did it! Victory is mine, victory is mine! Yes I'd say things have gotten exponentially better Um so I know I said last time was gonna be my last try, but I really need teal macarons. We're gonna give it one more go and try to remember to add the food coloring this time. Are you ready, are you? Macaron making is no short process if you don't have a lot of time, don't make macarons! Yeah if you go on Top Chef or something and you think you can f*ckin pull out your fancy macarons, probably gonna fail. Pack your knives and go, but you know what? This f*ckin batter is looking pretty good so far.
Got my food coloring in there this f*ckin time Yes I think we are gonna have a winner y'all! Okay, we did it, I think, almost. Now we just have to let these sit here for an hour, bake them, let them cool, make some icing, sandwich them together, and then let them mature for about two days before we can eat them! (Corinne slowly losing her sanity) (Still slowly losing her sanity) I hate it. Stupid French f*ckin cookies. Why can't we just have good old chocolate chip?? This is America! We eat chocolate chip here.
F*CK macarons, these things are stupid. Alrighty then, here they are after being baked. And yes it looks like I may have baked them just a little too long, and as you see here this is the icing decision that I made and I feel good about it! Regardless of your judgment, I don't care anymore. Yep and here they are.
Now they just have to mature for two f*ckin days and then we can eat 'em. C: Aren't they cool? I did it! R: Yea! Is that them? C: Yeah, take that one right there. R: is that safe? C: Unclear. R: This is amazing! R: No lie, thought they were going to taste like sh*t R: They should try it C: Foodporn.
R: Ha, look at that! C: Wow yeah I think I. Did it! R: Yeah it's pretty good, looks pretty good, I'm saying C: And totally not stressful at all to make them C: Oh what have you done all week Corinne? Made a bunch of f*ckin sh*t cookies That's what I've done. Actually I may have a use for these after all First shot, boom, bulls eye motherf*ck*r! R: Oh wow. C: Don't f*ck with me.
R: Don't f*ck with this rabbit. {Or she'll shoot your eye out} R: What, whaaat. C: F*cking American, buddy. I know about guns not macarons! R: Sharp shooter over here Alrighty then, I think that's finally it for this video.
As always we want to know what kind of project you want to see us make here on this channel. So leave your suggestions in the comments down below. Don't forget to subscribe, like up this video, and I'll see you later. *Snip snip snip*.
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